Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Rick Masters: Brown Rainmaker

On the narrow steel bridge in Plumith Groak, Mon-Tanna legendary Sports Musician Rick Masters flipped a switch on his tour bus that released nearly one metric ton of solid hot brown sewage on the faces of poor villagers below. Before pulling the switch, Rick got on the megaphone and told everyone to come out of their houses to catch free money that he had earned at his last Colosseum gig. People ran out of their houses hoping for a miracle but what they got was something much different.

Rick Masters describes the events in his own words: "Oh that one? Oh man! That was hilarious. So here's what I did. I had the driver stop on this steel grated bridge, right? So I get on the megaphone and I say 'Attention low income Americans. I am so sorry for charging so much for tickets to my shows. In an attempt to regain some of my integrity I wish to bestow you with free dollars from the sky.' Hahahaha. It was so funny I could barely say it without cracking up. Everyone in the neighborhood under the bridge started running out of their houses holding their hands in the air hoping to catch a buck or two but got a Rick Masters brown right in the kisser. When my faggot fans keep complaining about high ticket prices, I'm going to let them know exactly how I feel about them not having enough money to afford them. Period."

It was reported that the Mayor of Plumith Groak threatened to sue Rick Masters for the cruel trick, but before he could, Rick Masters purchased the entire town, and took a shit on everyone's doorstep just for kicks.

Rick Master's violinist summed the situation up quick succinctly by saying "Listen man, Rick is a turd man. He loves turds. And he hates people that hate sports. It's that simple."

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