Crotch Interviews

Cat's Crotch has always been receptive when offered a chance speak with important figures in politics and economics, and this month we're honored to have a visit paid to us by Ben Bernanke, the current Chairman of The Federal Reserve. BB wanted to explain to us in layman's term why printing more money will fill our pantries and keep our hot bars satisfied.

CC: "Good morning Ben! You look healthy."

BB: "Thank you. I feel good!"

CC: "I love your skin."

BB: "Let's get down to brass tax. This month started off fairly rough with the Debt Roof barely getting raised in time before America became officially slightly unreliable when it comes to paying back loans. You really have to understand why it's important to have a perfect credit score."

CC: "We think about that all the time!"

BB: "I know, it's pretty intense. Anyway, when you print more money, that means everyone will get more, and we need more because we were almost out."

CC: "Well that makes sense... that doesn't mean its value will decrease, will it? Or that stuff will get more stupid?"

BB: "No, of course not, god."

CC: "What about it eventually cycling to other countries and not coming back? I think that is a possibility."

BB: "That's completely impossible because it's American dollars. They only work in America, c'mon."

CC: "... what's that black stuff coming out of your eyes?"

BB: "What...? That's nothing, nothing is coming out of my eyes."

CC: "It looks like Satan's semen."

That this point Ben pushes his index finger into his eye socket and then draws something on the desk in front of him with the questionable black material, then vanishes. The symbol that was traced into the wood also vanished.