Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Melted-Face Class Reunion

The time has come once again for the annual melted-face class reunion. People from the greater Lava-Boil area will come together for a celebration of friends, family and warm embraces. And skin drippings.

All the graduates from Lava-Boil High Class of 1974 will be meeting in the cafeteria for warm, water-boiled hot dogs--a favorite food among people with melted-faces. There will also be a series of prominent speakers within the melted-face community along with a special guest appearance by a certain melted-face local-access TV "celebrity" chef.

Guests of honor include:

Maynard Lawnsauce -- A patient and honorable man known for his misgivings regarding the combination of ketchup and mayonnaise and the complications that can arise from deep facial massages in the "normal face" community.

Slopdome McGribbles--Regarded as a kind of "local celebrity" in the Lava Boil area, Slopdome McGribbles hosts his own local-access television program based out of his dungeon in East Lava Boil. Mr. McGribbles is a self-proclaimed "expert" hot-dog handler and respecter. It is said among his fans that McGribbles has transcended the inter-dimensional barrier between the anal-flesh and inner stuffing of hot dogs themselves. Many disagree. Regardless, McGribbles will be preparing the food for the event.

Boon-Toon Dripsnout--National funnyman and star of such direct-to-VHS features as "Face Face Fall Off" and "Being a Funnyface" will make an appearance at this years reunion. Boon-Toon is known to many as the happiest and most cheery man in the melt-face community--with his signature monologue about "being a dope at the supermarket." Children and adults alike will adore his pleasant and face-drippingly enjoyable live performance.

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