I was jimmy shrimpin' down the street and a stupid batcrow with SUCH a long nozzle swooped in on my shoulder and whispered: "nnnngggggghhhhh! FAGGOT!" So I ended him for trying to hate-crime me so brazenly. THEN my belly farted and I remembered about Uncle Zach's "Bring Your Own Fowl" BBQ Restaurant just down the street. "Aaah, The sun lords sure shone on me this afternoon" I thought, because there I was; fat lifeless batcrow in hand, and a mighty appetite to match! Well I thought life was pretty so-so to OK at this point because my bed was stolen the previous day. But I was in for a real shocker because that stupid ignorant batcrow not only death squirted raw shit juice all over Uncle Zach when I presented it for grilling, but I found out that batcrow is technically not a fowl, but a retarded growth that forms on a dead Kangaroo's pouch, and grows dumb wings made of cancer. Well needless to say, I didn't eat that day! Also Uncle Zach is not MY actual uncle but I'm pretty sure he does have sex with my step mom in bunches, so he FEELS like family.
Moral of the story: Stick with Lettuce and Tomato sandwiches, like our friends in this classic video!