Our first baseman, Tum Burncoch, gave us this section of his "TOUR LOG" today:
Wif Gidget had a rigidity conference in West Dakota today. I met him for lunch at the regional Hungry Man World Office Base Headquarters. Wif was happy to see me but he had something on his mind. I asked him what was wrong and he said he had a hard brown turd inside of his right pantleg. He explained that he tucked it in his jogging sock for safety. I told him it wasn't safe to have a turd there. IT CAN DEGENERATE YOUR ANKLE/CALF!!! What man? Am I right? Wif said "nuh huh" and he kicked the table over in front of all the. Other hungry man meal eaters in BROAD DAYLIGHT! He said "I'll keep my turd and you can cram my beef brisket up your pussy purse." THen I kicked over an old lady's table and grabbed her pet dog and broke it in half over my leg to show I was serious. He knew I was serious! Then I broke a steel bar over my head and got a brain hemorrhage."