Tuesday, August 31, 2010

R.I.P. Tennis Hardapple (1910-2010)

In an unfortunate (and highly sexualized) turn of circumstances, Popular Romance Novelist Tennis Hardapple has passed away. His beloved legacy has bulged and throbbed it's way out of the jeans of the literary world over the past 10 decades.

Tennis was found dead alongside his lover, Pip Snuggler III. The coroners office determined that before the time of their deaths, they pumped eachother full of an unusually high dose of mum-ducket. Autopsy reports confirm that the couple stood on the bed and rib-dib-dibbed for hours on end before finally yup-doolding into the corner in fear. Both of their lives ended deep in their king size restroom as they attempted to rinse their innards with warm, buttery Irish Cheese.

Mr. Hardapple's memory will live on in the swollen, discolored overfilled grape bags of snatch-hungry male clamsnarfers.

As the nation mourns, Cat's Crotch wishes to cast light on the numerous contributions Tennis made to trash-can literature.

His most notable being:

-Pork Me Again, Rita
-Clap Trap
-Revenge of the Clap Trap
-Wiggle Jones, Jimeny Widget and the Bubble Brothers
-Choad Force 2000
-Pink Rim Riders of the Desert Sky
-Urethra Davis and the Underwear Kings
-Sunset Over Brooklyn (And The Cone-Shaped Skin Of My Penis)

Tennis Hardapple in front. Pip Snuggler in rear.

1 comment:

  1. oh dammit adam, I've never even seen a human like this