Friday, September 3, 2010

Savage Growlers

As new food/money exchanges flood the market near the landfill in East America, Cat's Crotch took to the streets to ask the Citizens of Tater Tot, New Hampshire Jr. to find out how much they scarf or snap in an average span of one moonrise.

"I'm here for the breast regions. Their moist consistitude fill my loins with regret."
-Bibbins O'Hannahan (Restaurant: Full Belly Rick's Talon Animal-on-a-Plate)

"Every time I come here, my soul-ghost departs through my aynus due my excessive mouthbone gyrations. My choice book item is the deep-fried, triple-baked Desk Wood."
-Sandbox Riffkin, King of Yonkers (1958) (Restaurant: The Gentle Coot-Petter)

"My wife and I like undersea dippers. We come here every Lungfish season and try the free beef. My son, Chili, likes to try the Whalebone Sliders. I prefer the Raw, Shelled Chicken Parts. For my hard earned copper spending rounds, it doesn't get any better. You eat what you want and throw the rest on the floor. The waiter just comes by and cleans it up."
-Pinky "Breezer" Gulp-Jenkins (Restaurant: Old Fegget's Seafood Facehounds)

"I'm sure to bring my in-pant droppage container whenever I come here. The owner always gives me extra dark fluids but he'll never tell me what the ingredients are! One day I convinced the food-bringer to tell me. He said that there's mugget, togs, hot-press burkey, processed heavy matter, and a generous portion of sapp. He also said the chef always puts an added dose of battered-nuck in my dark fluids, because he knows how much I like my battered-nuck."
-Jeremy Circumstance (Restaurant: Fluid Charter Cookery Tours and Hospital, LLC)

In conclusion, many leg-walkers have discovered incurable diseases hidden within their pressed mork.

The diseases include:

-Boondoggler's Frown
-Sound No-Hear
-Sad, Sad Umpuss
-Hunk Biter's Clamp
-Rolled Innards
-Immovable Formed Brown Columns
-Belly Fuss
-Cheek Swell
-Tooth Remove
-St. Jeremiah's Baseball Disease

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