Sunday, September 12, 2010
"Every day I give a sugar lump to a hungrymouth. And the youngbodies love the tender smooth touch that only I can bring with my meatpaw."
-Bip "Smoothskin" Raisinmeat
Smoothskin Raisinmeat is America's prime uncredentialed child hypnotherapist/bodypetter/confection-maker. He owns and operates Pencil-Vania's premiere child storage warehouse: Smoothskin Bib's Tender-Touch Young Human Care Building.
Millions of dozens of people have sung the praises of this fine organization. For over six days, we have always been a great place for smallpeople. Tens of tinyflesh softfaces have ALREADY piled into the brainhelp centre/touch house/candy eatery.
Uncle Brownskin, a strange kind of fellow--who's a father to some of our child-clients--has this to say: "These pals love my babies. They hold and cuddle them like they were baskets of sweetfruit from the forest. You can tell Smoothskin Raisinmeat cares about nothing more than a ticklerub or two and preparing tiny sugars. He does sweat a lot, though."
Kipland Roundside gives his personal testimony: "I swear by the lord Jesus that I love his sweet kidney meat. His hair smells like Brut Cologne, just like my Great Grandmother Crunt."
But the praises of satisfied customers aren't all we have to impress you with.
Many youngs have been healed of their communicable diseases by Smoothskin Raisinmeat's Enchantments and Spells. Most headthinkers don't realize that Dr. Raisinmeat is MORE than just a man. He's a certified health warlock, designated a genuine "Sparklefinger" by the East Chico California Community College Community Outreach 100% Free Degree Giveaway Award Ceremony.
If you and your longhair have created youngpeople and you need to store them in a place with gentlefingers, put them in the capable sweatpalms of Dr. Raisinmeat.
Posted by Adamantium at 4:58 PM