Monday, September 13, 2010

A Letter To All Of My Sons: From Your Paup

Dear Sons,

-Yogurt "Davis" (15)
-Flusher (13)
-Tash (16)
-Muggert (14)
-Flaun-Dan-Dan (15)

First of all, I just wanted to utter that I have spirit feelings in my loins for each and every one of you. But I've been hurtpained lately because of the horseshit badness in my life. An angry bowel movement came over me last dawn when I fought all night to win. I lost the battle and I broke my sad-exit.

That brings me to my next talk.

Ever since you started wearing those no-room sparkletrousers, I feel like you've been spending more time hoofing after busch than turning jaw with your ol' Paup. It hurts an old dust closet like me knowing that my own littleboys don't even want to spend multiple ticktocks with me.

That's okay, sons. Paupa will be ok. I know you buggerts have been busy. Your singsong project is popular with wetholes! I've noticed. I saw your music video on KR-TV Cinsee-Natee and many softmouths in the crowd lusted for you.

I also wanted to congratulate you boys on your bigtyme win at the Regional Owl-Meat Cookoff. I read about it in BIRDFEAST magazine. I saw when you tried to put that squaker in the boilwater. Boy! That featherbody didn't want in! NO SIR!

Well, I'm sure you heard from the wordpapers that you daddy got put in jailbars for doing some murders. Sorry but I can't see you boys until they let me go freebird in 100 years. My bunkhouse buddy Jerry Popsicle says that if I drink other man's blood than I can live for long enough to see you smallpotatoes again.

Joyous Wishes and Wonders,



INMATE # 7890343-69


No comments:

Post a Comment