Are you a person that has some hair? If so, you or your close family members will perhaps be interested in my new "home-mayde" hair smoother. It's called "Snig Dollop." My sister Daysie-Hay Snodgrass and I made it out of some things we found out in the cornfield. I used blopped-buttercream from a cow's pinksack and Daysie-Hay put in some smoking hotrounds from the dirtfield. We also got a hold of some of Papa's crotch-tonic and Mama's dinner grease. It's smells dead-awful but it work's like an Dago's Oil!
Don't take it from us, listen to the hair-heads!
"I took a bottle of Snig Dollop to school with me to impress the girls. I rubbed it on my top hair and I also rubbed some on my bottom hair. I think this girl Torfy smelt it cuz she started smelling my groin area and making furnace noises."
-Snork Glump
"I picked me up a bottle of this fur honey and rubbed it in me hair for a dozen hours or so. Next thing I knew I had a fleshy blood rod coming out of me trousers and a couple-a girls nobbin on the end of it, eh? It was a great time at me mum's house. I use to like Pup Town Washer and Browshag Tuesdays but this is a much more capable product."
-Bubble Tony
"My mom dragged a handful over my rear-tails before I went on a bike ride. All of a sudden, hundreds of crows and tree-birds started following me and screeching. Some of them tore chucks of hair out. I was crying and screaming for help from the Robe-Lord. It was terrible."
-Charlie Chan
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