Porkflesh Male Human Competition Event

IN MEMORY OF DEAR UNCLE GORKY. #1 PORKFLESH BALL-ARM POTATO CHIP CRAMMER.

Notice to all of my Porkflesh Ballsport Smyle-Faces: You guys already know that the yearly Porkflesh Hammerdown is happening this Sunday night. The Donahue Pie Eaters are playing the Nard Town Ruckers. It's gonna be a great ovalball cocksmash.

We've been having this event ever since 1982, when my Uncle Gorky was still young and vibrant. Boy could he catch a Porkflesh! Just look at the above picture. The had the coordination of a blood panther and the eyes of a baldhead ee-gull.

We are serving a bowl of SaltRounds for you hungrymouths. But everyone needs to pitch in. My wife Teresa Smelltrout bought a bag of Caribbean Flavored SaltRounds but now we don't have anymore money. I prayed to my Uncle Gorky to send down spirt powers so we could get more money for more chips but it didn't work. So we only have enough for each person at the party to have one half of a handfull of SaltRounds.

Also, if someone has a TV and Pay-Per-Peek, we need those things too. We don't have a TV or a coffee table. Or a couch.