Thursday, October 7, 2010

Ghost of Mervyns Rises From Dead to Taunt Loyal Sears Customers

Customers at the Double Brown Shopping Center fled in terror from a specter Mervyns Department Store that appeared in a flash of fog and lightning and began to taunt loyal Sears customers. Witnesses say that the store, which went bankrupt and got demolished in 1991, materialized in the Sears parking lot.

We asked some of the witnesses to comment:

"My wife Bork and I have shopped at Sears since we got our first goldcoins. This is where we buy all of her bodyrags and beefed-up shoulderpads. When we pulled into the parking lot today, we saw a demon Mervyns floating two feet off the ground hollering obscenities a bunch of prunefaces. It was awful"
-Mart Plowbog, 32

"My best friend Pennywallet and I come to Sears every Saturday to check on the Kitty Sweaters. But today that damn Mervyns ghost store scared Pennywallet so bad that she lost control of her bowels and made a brownsplash in the parking lot. We had to take the bus all the way back home to Shady Bung Retirement Fort so she could change her crapchute."
-Horky Cumberbun, 91

"I have to walk through Sears to get to my favorite stores like Smoker's Palace and Card Trader's Bungalow. When I saw the ghost I dropped my greennugget smoking tube on the concrete and it broke. Now I have to ask my aunt Greubler for another glass bubble torker."
-Dun Cripp, 17

1 comment:

  1. we all want to be without a life of materializing floatgrudges and I'm no exception, but only lots of interim at the library scrolling through old new paper clippings can reveal the truth behind how to stop them